We are social-relational beings and we depend solely on our caregivers to survive. It can be overwhelming to grasp how our parents failed us, so it can be easier to ignore.
Attachment creates a sense of safety, providing the existential ground for children to take appropriate risks that are necessary to learn and grow. What is experienced in childhood is coded as normal, safe & familiar.
Securely attached children learn their needs are important & they can reasonably expect to have their needs met most of the time. Unmet childhood needs lead to creative solutions. We can re-parent our Selves & we must grieve what wasn't.
Your attachment style describes how it is for you to ask for your needs, how you expect (or don't) to get your needs met and how you relate to yourself, others and the world. We can have more than 1 attachment style and our primary type can switch as we slowly heal attachment to build secure attachment with ourselves to feel safe in intimacy.
Secure attachment requires presence, delight and safety - think of children on the playground who shout "mom look mom look mom look". They're asking for presence, delight, safety - all of this adds up to attunement.
Presence - I'm with you
Delight - to be marvelled at
Safety - trust your needs will be met